I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
