he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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