Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
