Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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