i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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