It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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