just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He better not be in your backpack
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
