I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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