He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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