But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Everclear isn't food dammit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
