i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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