i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize