In the future we'll all be gay
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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