Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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