im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
