i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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