No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
