I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize