he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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