About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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