Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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