someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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