Already got asked if we're dating
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize