Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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