He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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