God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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