You don't have asthma, your pregnant
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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