i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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