I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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