All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My vagina just recognized that song.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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