i permit you to call me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
