My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
