So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
