Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
