im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
