32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
