Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
