I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
this will be a night to untag.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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