The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
