Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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