he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
