He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
