lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She told me I should be a condom model.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
