Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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