your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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