I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
