Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
