thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
