biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
