we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
