New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
