he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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