He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize