She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
