i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
