i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
