Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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