I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I understand Curling. That high.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
