Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
