I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
