I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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