Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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