I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
