I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
