How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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