Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it because I queefed?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize