he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize