u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
