Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
