Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
