TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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