So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
