Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
