Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
