If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's blow job season.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
