I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
