Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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