i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize